Thursday, November 8, 2012

can finally see my FTP info

got an account audit through their site even though I obviously can't play and my balance is zero thanks to the DOJ deal. 

final numbers:

cash: $65,616.37
uncleared bonus: $4,080.00
ftp points: 264,952.01 (value $1,059.80)
ironman medals: unknown
mid year bonus: unknown

known value of account: $70,756.17

I'd guess my ironman medals and mid year bonus would have added at least another 1k on top of that if not more.

pretty tilting to see that stuff and no how different the last year might have been in terms of earning potential.  I hope everybody that stole my cash enjoyed it. 

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

before I finish last post

First read this blog (it's in my blogroll but here is the link):

Second, it was really nice to see this quote below of sauce talking about playing long poker sessions:

do any of you guys remember the feeling you had taking the SATs? I remember being so insanely focused for those 3 hours or w/e, that after it was over i was in a sort of daze, almost hungover. i think high level poker (at least when im playing my A game) is a lot like that, except it’s everyday, and it’s as much as 20 hours straight. in some ways that sounds horrible (so much effort!) but in other ways it’s kinda great. first, because poker is a lot of fun, and the SATs are balls. and second, doing this sort of intense focusing day in and day out for years just has flat out made me a smarter and more effective person. it’s hard for privileged white kids with hippy parents (like me) to learn discipline, and i think poker has helped out a lot.

For years this is the comparison (I tend to use finals in college instead of he SATs as I think they required more studying and were more intense) that I've used when trying to describe to people what poker is like.  Everyone wants to focus on the flexible schedule and the light hours, and I think it's a surprise to most people the intensity of focus and thought that it requires day in and day out.  It can be very draining and I often find myself having trouble sleeping, or rambling when talking to people after long sessions.

Granted for Sauce high level poker is probably a step or two up from me (obviously in stakes but imo clearly in skill as well) but I think the principles of the comment still apply.

anyway the whole blog post is interesting, and the thread is also pretty good although obviously with a much higher static to noise ratio.

will be back to finish the last post later this week.  Today is a grind day, also keeping tabs on the election.



Friday, November 2, 2012

When to take the WIN, and thinking about the year to date

Today I had planned to play for about 6 hours, but 3 in I decided to call it a session.  I was running about 2 BI under expectation, was getting coolered quite a bit, and definitely missed some value bets.  But I had managed to win about 4 buy-ins and for the first time all week I felt good about my game.  I'm not sure that I was playing drastically better today than I had for the 21k hands I had played earlier in the week, but I finally had won some cash and I needed the mental boost.

Poker can beat you down.  This year has been a trial.  Cash flow not what it used to be due to Black Friday and FTP stealing the vast majority of my bankroll, I was already under the gun so to speak in terms of stress.  It took a lot of work just to get a bankroll back, and to get playing again on different sites.  After all of that I had eaten through a good portion of my savings.  And then the run bad started.  It began last fall and was definitely a combination or running bad range vs range as well as being under EV.  But I managed to win some money just about every month thanks to RB and bonuses so I wasn't sweating it too much.  But then things started to get ugly in January of this year.  I simply could not win, and I was running multiple buy-ins under expectation every second.  Combine this with a volunteer position I took on a Division III college baseball staff, and suddenly I could barely stomache playing.  At this point in the year I was about 80 BI under EV and wasn't sure if I would ever win big again.

The run bad continued at the tables, but I was trying to grind it out when I could.  Then it extended to my real life.  At the beginning of April of last year I accidentally stabbed myself in my right palm.  The story itself is both frightening and funny, but I'll stick to the results.  I severed the flexor tendon that bends my pinky, knicked an artery, and did mild nerve damage.  It took surgery to repair my hand, and then 6-8 weeks of rehab before I was able to use it again.  Everything is back to normal now, but during that time I basically was one handed and it was the hand I don't use to play poker.

In order to be able to play and try and make money for that month, and May I decided to try and 4 table PLO at lower stakes.  I figured that my slower mouse movements would match with my poorer understanding of the game and need for more time to think about decisions.  Eventually I started to think I had a better handle on the game, and my left hand was getting very proficient with the mouse so I found myself frequently 8 tabling. Unfortunately I was overestimating my knowledge of PLO and underestimating the variance.  My breakeven to slightly winning PLO game quickly took a nosedive and I found myself losing, and losing frequently.  I ended up running about 35 BI under EV for my PLO play, but had I run at EV I would have still been a slightly losing player.  At this point I was at an all time poker low.  Using the wrong, hand, playing the wrong game, and still losing.  I'd been losing or breaking even for nearly 5 months.

Thankfully I budgeted for crises because (although not dire or life threatening) this was certainly my first crisis as a pro.  I decided to give myself two more months to work out of the funk.  I had my hand back, I'd go back to my bread and butter game (NLHE) and I'd rededicate myself.  If I couldn't book a reasonable winning month with new focus and new rules for sessions I'd polish off the resume and move on.

then things started to change...